Saturday, May 31, 2014

Honorable Intentions

It is with hell's own paving stones that I do these place savers on here - as much as for me as for yall. Getting the days that things happen down is just a good idea for us all.. " Hey Kyle , when did yall do that think on June of 2010? "
See, with the k+b I don't have to have all that good of a real memory - So , again, that is why you sometimes see these silly numbers or letters , what ever I'm in the mood for - to keep time in line for me - and then, like this time, I just don't get here in time....

Full Day

 Jack and Linda were among the many that were at the house today - bring little SHAY ( spelled right ) in tow. I thought it would be a good idea for Shay, who is only six months old, to romp with Koda and Fletcher next door in the back yard - not so much, the boy dogs were just to rough for her  ( and her very protective mother ...)
So Koda and Fletcher just hung out a bit
 Then that afternoon / evening was the always fun Fireman's Parade, the event of the year in Mendon!
Fantastic weather for it this year!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Mendon Fireman's Carnival '14

City Folk

We went downtown to have dinner with our pals Jack and Linda tonight.
Pre dinner snacks up on the roof top deck with the view of the river and downtown Rochester
Diner was fantastic, with the best pickled beets I have ever had.
They are coming to view the gardens on Monday, I ask her to bring the recipe!

This is their puppy Shea - very sweet!


I'm not sure who, I'll try and find out, but someone complied a decade of AIDS coverage. No fucking wonder we were all scared out of our minds for a time there - the first years of this are just horrifying. I had forgotten so much of this, or maybe I just did not know at the time.

Another thing, and this is just what I do, find funny in the tragic, but ALL these gay men look just alike, the full clone era. I am sure that the CDC did tests on whether trim mustaches and pastel polo shirts caused the illness....

The Ryan White part of this is just ... heartbreaking. And try and find the lovely part where Newt Gingrich calls for gay internment camps..... good times.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014


Pork Chop
Cabbage w/Potatoes
( faux Bubble and Squeak )
Stewed Apples

Daily Koda

Doing a little patient sitting this am - he is doing great! 
Koda gets a chance to run with his posse, when he will be an inch from me
 Koda is a little Coda -pendent! 

 Smithwicks got a new summer haircut.
 Gaia has a new dog bed.

These two debated going in for a good 5 min before choosing not too.


Make sure yall are following Neil's garden blog
 to keep up on the flowers at our house.

( and the annual garden tea party is Saturday week )



I am pretty sure this poem has made the k+b before, but just watch it again, all of it. With ONE WORD Dr. Angelou brought 12 years of Reagan-Bush to a quick close. Humanity is better because of her - life well lived.

OBIT from the NYT

Tuesday, May 27, 2014


Larry Kramer Talks to Jane Pauley During the First Days of the AIDS Crisis in 1983: VIDEO| Gay News | Towleroad

This video [ cant figure out how to embed, so just go with the link ] - was a gem to find. That seems like a wrong term to use..... It is surprisingly hard to find photos of Larry Kramer from this time. Media then v media now.

I have known about this play, seemingly for ever - I had never seen it until the movie. As the film ended and the titles rolled the words " THE NORMAL HEART " came on the screen and for the very first time I understood the title. This was what Larry Kramer wanted, fought for , almost died for, for people to see him as " normal ".

I wish I had not been overcome by the devil pollen for the last couple of days, I should have written about Sunday night's movie when the emotion was still so raw in me, not in the cool light of intellect three days later. Five minutes into the movie , I turned to Neil and said, " this is going to kick off a whole lot of PTSD tonight" , and sure enough, that was one of the major comments  - everywhere. It was such an odd / interesting week for this film to come out . The nadir of " us " in a post Stonewall wall world - so many dying - no clue as to the why. Flip that with states passing full equality so fast that I can not keep up with them.

Neil and I were in such very different places in the early '80's but both of us " missed the war ". Tucked safely in my little corner of sleepy North Georgia, I don't even remember the first time I heard about AIDS. That frat boy college closet door slammed shut ( which in my case was very funny, see : balloon valance)  - it all seemed like a different planet. Even now, three lifetimes later this is difficult to right about - living a " fake life " does that. Which part was more real ? Many years later I found out that I was not all that far away and that one of those same frat boys died a horrible lonely sarcoma ridden early death from AIDS. Guess none of us were as safe as we thought at the time.

Not that there was not real blinding panic - even in someone like me , who did nothing outwardly gay. I never went to a gay bar, or a bath house sort of place - I don't think I even knew there were any in Atlanta. ( for all I knew there could have been places even in Athens.. I was clueless ) But the news at the time made me fear being what I was. Think about that - being yourself - waking up in the morning, going about your day to day existence was a death sentence. This was early AIDS, the time of the film - when for all we knew just being gay was going to kill us . Add to that I was such a late bloomer - and it is hard from 2014 to even understand my mindset, but I think we can go with not the very best time to come of age....

One thing that I was afraid of with the film, and it turns out from what people are saying online, that I was right, that the global mindset of 1982 would be forgotten or just miss understood. People and events seen though a pair of 2014 glasses , a world where even in the reddest of red states there is a whole lot of gay. The scene in the movie where the folks of the GAY MENS HEALTH CRISIS were in an uproar over where to use the word GAY and not just the letters GMHC ( which I think in the end they did go with ) . Or people in real fear of losing everything if found out to be gay - that can happen now, but 30 years ago - it was much more of a reality.

To think that this play came out in 1985, when the universe was still nothing but chaos. That Larry Kramer had the guts and ... moxie to write this AND get it on off Broadway is just amazing. You think we have some so very far, and we very much have - but it still took 30 years to get it to a screen, and even then it was an HBO one.

A great take on the making of the film from 

Monday, May 26, 2014


Something did today, kicked us back up into allergy land, HOPEFULLY only for one day - This was a round of watery eyes and sneezing like you see on television, which is something I never get. Was not all that bad - didnt keep us in the house or anything, just a darn nuisance.


Did not feel like going the traditional start of summer bbq for just the two of us, so a couple of fillets and some asparagus right on the grill, a little olive oil and lemon. Most tasty


 A picture post card perfect Memorial Day, weather wise - warm , sunny - not a drop of rain to be found. Post parade we went for a nice long walk on a somewhat crowded trail -
I think the warmest day we have had so far - Koda was in his little pool for a good long while.

Mendon Memorial Day Parade 2014

Sunday, May 25, 2014


( and let's hope the kids kept the art till now.....)

History is written by the victors.

It is late- my thoughts in the morning....

dinner ( Sunday )

Roast Chicken
Red Cabbage
Roasted Carrots 
w/ cumin & fennel seeds


A beautiful day in the Finger Lakes today - nothing but yellow and blue horizon to horizon. Neil was out in it all day long, the big Iris viewing in a couple of weeks. I got the flag out and the front yard mowed - I'm pretty sure there is the annual Mendon Memorial Day Parade, don't want to look shaggy for the bands and the veterans.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Daily Koda, Dinner, Excuses

A beautiful late Spring day today, and Neil and I were both busy, all of it. Him out in the yard, me in the house and out and about. Lot's that I need to get down on here, but just too much going on today -

An all in one post

Vidalia Onion, Green Apple and Artichoke Heart Salad

This , except for the greens, was a total pantry salad - even the dressing.
  • A plate of washed well arugula
  • Half of a large Vidalia onion , quartered then sliced very thin
  • Granny Smith Apple match sticks
  • Straight from the on sale can Artichoke Hearts
  • A little shredded carrot for color
  • A quick lemon juice / Apple cider vinegar / olive oil dressing 

 First time all year eating outside, was just a beautiful night

Friday, May 23, 2014


Dinner with the patient tonight - he is doing remarkably well!

David Dean did most of the cooking, although I did two salmon sides -
salt free, with orange , olive oil, was yummy
Started off with some yummy muscles!
Then just the fish and salad for me.

Daily Koda

With is good pal Smithwicks. He is still in full over the top YOU LEFT ME mode - wont be two inches from Neil or me....

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Rains it Pours


The stripes all mean that there is a case in the courts right now/ state laws have been struck down and in the system.....AND This crazy quilt of a map ( NO way to govern a country ) could change even more since North Dakota is the ONLY state right now that there is no marriage equality pending.

Wednesday , May 21

As is always the case, I was so good at taking pictures on the first couple of days of our trip and then.. not so much. Neil's are all on his camera and not phone, so I have not got them yet, so I may update all of this later on.

We woke up on Wednesday, hung out with Harry then hit the subway train. Boo boo prone Kyle did not realize that the Brooklyn TKTS only sells Wednesday matinee tickets on Tuesday so we had to go to the big Times Square one, which in high summer for a night time show is a multi hour wait  - but , and here is a tip to anyone visiting NYC this summer - if you get there late for the matinee line - you can just pretty much just walk up and get a ticket - less than 10 min. wait. Which gave us time to continue out debate. 
Neil was perfectly willing to go to a play with me , even though his heart is in musicals, and after the fun we had the night before, I was fine with giving up 90 min of gay drama with Tyne Daly ( although I still might go down and see it on my own ) So, Pippin ( which Neil saw the original Ben Vereen production, so I was afraid he would be disappointed with the huge changes in the show ) 
In the end something new for both of us , the new Idina Menzel show " IF / THEN ". Which we both LOVED! Very .. old school (?) theater. No bombs, no helicopters, crashing chandeliers, no Disney magic etc - a talent based Broadway show..
Second time with great seats from tkts, third row, slight limited view, but with this show it was NOT a problem at all. The show is at the Richard Rodgers theater, which is one I had never been to before - and it is just beautiful! 

Sometimes the show is just Idina on an almost naked stage. I can't find any quality video from the show but here she is on the Today show: 

Then survived a somewhat adventure filled trip home - a lovely mini vaca to NYC!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Tuesday, May 20th

Woke up to just a beautiful New York City day - bright, sunny, low humidity, just lovely. Just hung out in Harry's garden with him and the lovely Trixie , who is cat obsessed.

Harry and I went over to the Brooklyn TKTS - where twice, I have just walked up to and bought tickets, but this time there was an hour line! We had planned on going on a tour of the CBS news studios given to us by Amanda, but we ran late due to the line. Harry was a rock star on cue, because he had seen so many of the shows - telling folks what was what and all.

One of the reasons we went down was that I wanted to see the play MOTHERS AND SONS, but Harry had already seen it ( and was not super impressed ) and Neil really prefers musicals, so we went with MATILDA, the Musical - and got really good seats.

Harry's next Bond theme head shot

Neil headed up with a friend to the Brooklyn Botanical Garden, Harry and I made a bee line for the Metropolitan Museum of Art for the CHARLES JAMES, BEYOND FASHION exhibit. I've been to a few of these fashion institute exhibits and have loved them all , but this one was .... mind blowing. Ill do a whole post on it soon. 
I always love the flowers in the lobby/entree hall thing -
Always beautiful and all ways provided by the Readers Digest lady, 
who left a ton o bucks to keep fresh flowers here -
a great thing to do with your money!

The view from the mezzanine

Tiny bottle that Greeks wore around their necks

THIS was new to me and a WONDERFUL surprise !
There is now a fantastic roof garden on top of The Met. It is not real grass but this delightful bouncy gym floor rubber mat thing with great fake grass that aways stays clean and bright green. There is a stand where you can get full bar drinks and light snacks. It was such a beautiful day that it was a very popular place. It was also, I guess, Columbia University graduation , and there was some party with  light blue caps and gowns. We were up there a while, it was just so very nice. Anyone going to the Met make sure to hit the roof, its a little bit hard to get up too, but such a special treat.

Neil met us and we grabbed a quick dinner at some place in Times Square.
( which is a place that I am not 100% fond of..)
On to Matilda which was a great surprise. It was Harry's birthday gift, so we had to pick something that he had not seen. I had read and heard some about it last year and it is a great time at the theater. I really don't think I have ever laughed SO hard at a show. Unbelievably talented children, and that is coming from me ( the entire show is about despising children, so yes, right up my alley)


Just a perfect day in the city.

Monday May 19th

Little road trip for Kyle and Neil down to NYC for a couple of days. Could not have picked a more lovely time of the year - Beautiful weather and not the massive crowds of true Summer. We drove down to one of the northernmost stops on the MTA and took the train into Grand Central then off to meet our pals Amanda and Rick, who are leaving New York ( never easy ) 

Their apartment is just a block and a half from the almost perfect Brooklyn Heights Promenade. There is no car traffic at the end of their street, so it is just wonderful. This is the view.

This is looking the other way, that tiny stick in the middle , the tiny dot is the Statue of Liberty, with a storm coming up - it missed us.

Lions and Tigers and Bears
Then Rich took us on a nice lengthy trip all over Brooklyn for dinner and ice cream. Loved getting to see parts of Prospect Park - surprisingly rural!
Then back to their place for a second  - mainly so I could get this view at night of the Brooklyn Bridge and Manhattan at night.
Then off to our NYC home away from home Casa de Harry - where he and I took off to a cute little bar just around the corner to have a drink with a pal of his. A very nice start to our trip!

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Daily Koda

All the rain over the last few days has turned everything a caught up green.

Saturday, May 17, 2014


The annual Frederick Law Olmsted Awards Luncheon for the ladies committee of the Central Park Conservatory - AKA : THE HAT LUNCH!

Martha is a pretty tragic hat, NY's quasi First Lady, Sandra Lee not doing much better ( BUT, a HUGE  improvment over what she wore to the MET BALL )

FYI for next year ladies : PHILIP TREACY

Looking much better is UGA's very own , the pride of Perry, Ga : Deborah Roberts ( Mrs. Al Roker ) seen here with a one of the good Trumps.

BUT, the only real reason to care about this is k+b Hero BILL CUNNINGHAM's take of the ladies who lunch. I can no longer post his videos so :


To k+b SUPERFAN, Dana !

Steve, BD Girl, Angie, Binky

It's never too early

Neyland Stadium’s reign of being the SEC’s largest stadium is coming to an end in 2014. Tennessee’s stadium seats 102,455 fans, but Kyle Field is about to change everything.

Texas A&M’s Kyle Field seated 82,589 fans last year, but the current two-phase renovation and expansion will push it to 102,500 in 2015. Because construction will be done in phases, the capacity for the 2014 season is expected to actually be 107,000-109,000, which could set attendance records.
Bryant-Denny Stadium will be the SEC’s third largest stadium, seating 101,821 fans.
LSU’s current expansion of the South End Zone will make it the SEC’s fourth largest stadium. Tiger Stadium’s capacity will go from 92,400 to 100,000 in 2014 and the future focus will be on fan experience, as this will likely be the last expansion to Tiger Stadium.
Five SEC stadiums have been under renovation this offseason; four of the five are expanding their stadiums (Texas A&M, LSU, Missouri and Mississippi State), while Kentucky’s renovation will reduce capacity from 67,692 to 61,000, making it a smaller, more fan-friendly atmosphe
Razorback Stadium has a future goal of getting to 80,000 capacity, while Ole Miss will start construction soon on expanding Vaught-Hemingway Stadium to around 70,000-75,000 fans in the next few years.
Here’s a breakdown of 2013 capacity, 2014 capacity and future capacity:
Texas A&MKyle Field82,589107,000102,500
TennesseeNeyland Stadium102,455102,455NA
AlabamaBryant-Denny Stadium101,821101,821NA
LSUTiger Stadium92,400100,000NA
GeorgiaSanford Stadium92,74692,746NA
FloridaBen Hill Griffin Stadium88,54888,548NA
AuburnJordan-Hare Stadium87,45187,451NA
S. CarolinaWilliams-Brice Stadium80,25080,250NA
MissouriMemorial Stadium71,00977,000NA
ArkansasDonald W. Reynolds Razorback Stadium72,00072,00080,000
Miss StateDavis Wade Stadium55,08261,337NA
KentuckyCommonwealth Stadium67,69261,000NA
Ole MissVaught-Hemingway Stadium60,58060,58070,000
VanderbiltVanderbilt Stadium40,35040,350NA