( this is a bit long, but please read the entire letter, as a rule I post links for this sort of thing, but this is important )
Professor Daniel Brewster
From the West Virginia University Daily Athenaeum :
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
For well over a year, I have contemplated how I would use my voice to protect those people whose voices are not strong enough to help them defend themselves from the bullying that ultimately could lead to suicide.In the past two weeks, many within the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community and its allies recognized the one year anniversary of Rutgers student Tyler Clementi's suicide and the untimely suicide of young 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer. I have decided enough is enough.
Last Saturday as we celebrated the most electric atmosphere of my life within Mountaineer Field, I was forced to face one of my students who found the "liquid courage" to challenge my sexuality.
I watched as the young man approached from afar, and as he got closer, I could tell that I was his target. He arrived at my row and approached me with words of condemnation of my own sexual orientation, using several defamatory terms in an open social setting to attack a member of the faculty.
I was not only shocked that he would be so audacious, but I was publicly humiliated as hundreds of people interrupted their cheers to witness this "public shaming." Unfortunately, I was not surprised that only one of the onlookers would come to my defense.
I remember the first time that I was called "gay." It was a concept that I didn't really understand, but I could tell that it was something that most people identified as bad. I was in sixth grade, and I remember my teacher and how she favored me from the other students.
My assailant was a young man who would proceed to bully me for the next 3 years until he moved away. I remember coming home and checking the encyclopedia to see what was meant by the word gay. I knew from an early age that I was gay; I wished that it didn't have to be a big secret, but I was petrified of anybody knowing or finding out.
I kept this personal shame and self-hatred inside me since that day. But to be honest, it wasn't as bad as it could have been – mostly, I just dug my head into my books, studied and tried not to think about it much.
And for a long time, that seemed to work. I excelled academically, though I never really engaged in friendships. I worked hard to make money rather than partying on the weekends. I would work and come home alone because I feared that I would be exposed, and I wasn't sure that I would be accepted by anyone.
As college started, I don't know that I ever really conceptualized the idea of "coming out" as I began to create this false reality of asexuality, this idea that I wasn't sexual and that I wasn't attracted to women or men. I felt that this would be easier. It was something that I knew people wouldn't understand, but I hoped that their confusion would diffuse their assumption of my homosexuality.
The question of "coming out" has been without doubt the ultimate pressing issue on my mind for quite a few years.
I felt it was something that would eventually have to be done. Of course, there was always the possibility that I could just never tell anyone and that I keep that part of my life permanently hidden.
However, this issue is one that has utterly destroyed me over the years, one that broke my heart on several occasions. I remember my college roommates taunting me because they thought I was gay. I remember so many years where no one would protect me from the slurs, from the bullying, from the evil mistreatment.
During my freshman year, Matthew Shepherd was savagely beaten and killed on the campus of the University of Wyoming. I remember thinking, "That could easily be me."
There are so many reasons for finally disclosing my sexual identity.
One of my worst fears has always been the rumors. I will never forget this phone call from my own mother. She told me about someone saying that they saw me leaving a gay bar in town. I have never been to a gay bar in this town, not that I haven't wanted to go from time to time.
I have been a member of the faculty for 8 years. I have had students openly call me these terms of hate on more than one occasion.
I once had a student write an evaluation stating that "the class would be better if the professor were not a ...," I have had students openly yell slurs at me from a distance, in passing, even once in class.
However, this occasion is different. I have seen the bullying that has taken the lives of Tyler, Jamey, as well as others like Seth Walsh, Asher Brown, and Billy Lucas. This bullying is rampant; the stories that we hear about illustrate an epidemic. As a society, we must stop this intolerance. We must work to end bullying.
After the game, I went home and all I could think about was this student's taunting. I am not a teenager; I am not a student on this campus. I am a member of the faculty, and yet even I was not even off-limits to the bullying, hate speech and intimidation tactics. I have little doubt that this student is not the "exception," though I am also not convinced that he is "the rule." I often discuss in all of my courses of the effects of discrimination, prejudice and hate crimes.
I think it is time that we as a society understand that, as a people, it is our responsibility to live by the mantra of one of my heroes, Elie Wiesel:
"I have sworn to never be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides! Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or sexual orientation, that place must – at that moment – become the center of the universe."
Daniel Brewster is a professor of sociology at West Virginia University
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