Friday, September 25, 2009

It's ok to be......ok

The glaciers melted and left the Great Lakes.
Krakatoa blew its top and sent Europe into a little ice age
Barbra recorded " Color Me Barbra".....

The universe changes, sometimes as slow as melting glaciers, sometimes as fast as a few million kiloton explosion, you have to pay attention, either way.

This Sunday's NYT Magazine has a cover story about gay kids in 2008 : (errrrr, 2009.. time moves slower up here...)

Within my lifetime, middle aged as it may be, the universe has changed. Krakatoa has exploded again. Language can not even keep up with these changes. These young people are not " coming out" which is a term shrouded in shame and " something to hide" ( you were hiding your true self in the closet). I think the basic point of this article is that the whole hiding thing is not something that these kids even think about. They are what they are, it's not coming out, its growing up...

The long term effect of this will be something most interesting to see. Happy healthy grown up gay people, with out the HORRIBLE yoke that years of lying and hiding burdened us with in the past.

Ya'll all know that I am all about sharing my most private feelings with just about anyone. I am all about openness and sharing... my life as an open book, talk about me at will......But this concept of " happiness" as a young kid is foreign . AS I am guessing - maybe wrongly - it is for most ( a lot ??.... some ?? ) 30+ gays and lesbians. NOT that I was unhappy... CLUELESS yes, but full blown unhappiness ... I'm not sure. BUT, there was the whole square peg in round hole aspect of life. Things just did not fit. The numeric life was not an option for me, 1, 2, 3, 4, .... fall in love, get married, have kids, white picket fence 2.3 toe headed darlings that I can post fabulous videos of them eating spaghetti on you-tube, because only MY kid could be this funny.....

Things were cloudier. Now I know that all these things are VERY possible for any and everyone gay, straight , what ever, but not at all THEN. Was there a date that things changed? One month in 2002 when we just turned that page. Everyone realized that , " well gosh darn it, Elton John sounds just as good as he ever did".. hmmmm.. maybe the whole gay thing is just not that big of a deal???

Growing up for me, there was no such thing as gay. The absolute only concept of not being the only guy on the planet feeling the way I did was a tiny, postage stamp sized add in every Sunday Atlanta paper for some nasty, I am sure, all male movie house somewhere in Atlanta. I have no idea where it was or what it was called, but that was it. My old pal Mark and I used to talk about this. He was born and raised in nowhere Oklahoma - and he finds this story to be odd. He used to claim that he knew all about being gay and what that was and all.... not me. Think back.. late 70's. " Gays" were some silly actor in a dress, but it was never talked about as being gay. There is a famous Marcus Welbey show where some guy comes to the Dr. to be fixed for being " that way.." That was the extent of it. Billy Crystal in a dress on the t.v. show SOAP - who later became magically straight, or the oh-so-cute, first Stephen on Dynasty - who later magically became straight, or the sick guy looking to be fixed. ( yeah, I watched a LOT of tv as a kid...)

I did not , in any way, mean for this to be some woe is me, us old gay folk had it so bad, had- to -walk- five- miles- to- school- in- the- snow-uphill, both ways, sort of thing. Not at all, just pointing out how much and fast things changed.

Young folk today have the VERY gay kid wining the football game WITH choreography! ( don't get me started on mohawk guy..) Sure, it is as silly as all get out ... ( a HUGE delay of game.... ) BUT , just on face value. Here is a gay kid, doing things that gay kids do AND being the High School football hero. KRAKATOA

Thank all that is good that this change happened, Yeah, there is still a long way to go, and the powers that do not like change are strong. But if they know it or not, they have already lost...... push back on those glaciers , right wing nut jobs, see how far you get.


b said...

Wow, so many comments, so little time. First of all: it's 2009 already.

Second, what a fun football clip! as someone who just came from a HS football game and could think of nothing but the pretty colors in the uniforms, I thoroughly enjoyed that. Would I like that show?

b said...

Third, and here's what I was rolling in my head for the Bubble after reading this article and then the GLSEN report on harassment in school: There is something very, very developmentally appropriate about coming out in middle school. This is not only the time that kids try on new personalities and new groups to see what fits. It is also the beginnings of sexual desire and girlfriends and boyfriends and initial gropings and trying to understand where it all fits. Have you read Middlesex? It does a fabulous job of portraying this.

b said...

Finally, I love this: "They are what they are, it's not coming out, its growing up..."

Just like it should be.

Bryan Bedell said...

Certainly there was a tipping point for the time when "coming out" changed to "growing up".

Sociologically we can't pinpoint the exact time/event. And we don't need to.

Just like we can't pinpoint the exact time/event when it tipped from LGBTs being judged by religion to the present where religions are judged by how they welcome LGBTs. And we still don't need to.

But it's refreshing to be on the back side of the slope sliding towards justice.

The long arc of history may well bend toward justice - but it still seems to be moving at glacial speed.